


I’m Leaving and You’ll Never See Me Again

by Sourstarbursts



Series: The Complex Delicate Interpersonal Relationships Of Three Teenage Boys [3]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Slow Dancing, this actually kinda hurt to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-17 07:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20617589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourstarbursts/pseuds/Sourstarbursts
Summary: “Richie is 16 and things are fine. He has great friends, great parents, he’s doing alright in school for once, and the eczema outbreak on his ass that he had last week is starting to clear up. He’s content and he doesn’t push for more.He shoves down his wants, instead trading them in for the things he already has. The gnawing in his gut still hurts almost everyday. But the older he gets, the easier it is to keep it at bay. The older he gets the more he learns about himself, the things he aches for, and how to distract himself from it. “Eddie gets a date to prom, Richie doesn’t take it well.——Chapter 2 fluff is now up mwah!





	1. The Restless Heart, The Promised Land

**Author's Note:**

> Please be gentle with me, its like so hard for me to write because of my dyslexia but the desire in me to write is so big i look past it! So blease if anything is off or sounds funny lmk or just ignore it haha! I promise I’m not stupid, just dyslexic.
> 
> Also blease comment i love reading comments they literally make my day i get so happy seeing them!!

Richie is 16 and things are fine. He has great friends, great parents, he’s doing alright in school for once, and the eczema outbreak on his ass that he had last week is starting to clear up. He’s content and he doesn’t push for more. 

He shoves down his wants, instead trading them in for the things he already has. The gnawing in his gut still hurts almost everyday. But the older he gets, the easier it is to keep it at bay. The older he gets the more he learns about himself, the things he aches for, and how to distract himself from it. 

He doesn’t go to the movies with Eddie alone anymore, doesn’t even let himself sit in the seat beside him. The desire to clench onto the boys hand when Richie notices he’s scared is one of those wants he was talking about. So he doesn’t allow that of himself anymore. he’ll sit next to one of the other losers, it’s still fun, and it isn’t tempting.

When they have sleepovers, Richie doesn't sleep in the same bed as Eddie anymore. They’d have slept back to back, but it was still too much for Richie. Feeling the warmth of his best friends body on his back would turn into thoughts of Eddie rolling over and pressing said warmth against Richie. Of one small arm wrapped around Richie’s waist. Of a delicate face pressed into his shoulder, drooling (Eddie drools in his sleep). 

He doesn't walk Eddie home at night anymore, he now walks with Stan instead. And Eddie with Bill. This was one of the first things to go, since it was the most prevalent. Walking bikes together down the orange lit sidewalk, Richie and Eddie would talk about everything and nothing at all. He’d walk Eddie up to his door each night, and each night Eddie would say in a small soft voice, “Night, Richie.” It physically hurt not to kiss him. An anxious itch, that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard he tried. 

So when Prom came, Richie was enthusiastic about going stag with all the losers. He knew he wouldn’t be asked and that was fine, because he didn’t want to be. And he didn’t want to ask anyone either. He didn’t care about romance, or dancing, or any of the things that goes along with taking a date to the prom.

And if Richie could be seen, with a longing look as he watched Bev and Ben in the store picking out which color theme that the two would have for their outfits, he’d say he just also really liked the color tangerine. 

“I got asked to prom yesterday.” Eddie suddenly brings up in between bites of his whole wheat (ew) turkey sandwich. 

Richie couldn’t describe how he felt, how that sentence made something in his stomach twist. And how that twist hurt more than the time he was 12 and Bill punched him in the dick for payback of punching him in the dick. He couldn’t describe the burning feeling he felt, but he knew it hurt, really really really bad.

“Record scratch!” Bev exclaimed.

“W-who asked you?” 

“Jessie Burns, she made me a cake to ask me. She told me she didn’t want to wait around for me or any other guy to ask her, so she just did it herself.” Eddie explains to the group. 

“What did you say?” Richie asks, he tries to make it sound like that’s the only thing his mind has been screaming since Eddie brought up the discussion.

“I said yes.” Eddie states. That isn’t the answer Richie wanted or expected. Richie was quiet, not knowing how to form his next sentence. Eddie looked at him questioningly.

“That’s great, Eddie!” Ben chimed in.

“Why did you say yes?” Richie asks, going back to the question at hand.

“No one else asked me. She’s pretty and nice so that’s a plus.” Eddie states.

“Quick!” The idiot part of Richie’s brain yells, “This hurts too much, make a joke!!”

“Wait a minute, Eddie, isn’t she like two inches taller than you?” Richie laughs, “You’re totally going to have to stand up on your tiptoes to kiss her!”

“Oh shut up.”

“Oh my god, do you think she’s going to lead when you guys dance?” Richie fully realizes his tone is turning more cruel, he also fully realizes how genuinely angry Eddie is getting. He realizes this, but he doesn’t stop there.

“She’s probably going to buy you a corsage. Oh and are you guys going to have matching outfits? Match your baby blue dress with her ti-“

“YOU ARE A FUCKING DICK!” Eddie yells. The lunch room goes silent, heads turning to watch this debacle. 

Eddie stands up, taking his tray and leaves angrily. Eddie was always has been one for the dramatics, but Richie knows he really, really, really fucked up.

“Why did you do that, Richie?” Bev asks, angrily as well.

“I don’t know.” Richie mumbles into his sandwich. But he knew well enough.

——

Eddie avoids Richie like the plague after that, and Richie doesn’t push.

Richie allows himself to wallow in the misery of Eddie having a date to the prom and that Eddie now hates his guts.

Maybe this is better, Richie thinks. If Eddie hates you, he won’t hang out with you. And if Eddie doesn’t hang out with you, you won't be tempted anymore.

Richie tries to think whenever he’s feeling depressed about Eddie, which is everyday now: This is for the best. 

Did you think you were just going to live like this forever? Spending everyday consumed with the desire to reach out and touch him? Did you think Eddie would never find someone? Get a girlfriend? Get married? Did you really think you’d just sit there, watch that happen, and let yourself feel the same soul crushing misery you felt when Eddie told you he had a date?

This is for the best. Richie reasons. You had to cut this off at some point.

——

A month passes by of Richie and Eddie not talking. It’s now one week before prom.

It’s been really tense between all of the losers with Richie and Eddie fighting. This has happened before, with teenage hormones all of the losers have gotten into tiffs with each other before. But, all their problems will eventually work themselves out. They all love each other, and none of them can really find it in themselves to stay mad for much longer.

This time is different. Richie is obviously the one that needs to go out of his way to apologize to Eddie. But he doesn’t, he had to cut it off at some point. No matter how much it hurt.

Almost all of the losers have tried talking to him, and tried convincing him to just apologize already. That whatever weird reason that Richie was being so stubborn about this was stupid. That this was the dumbest thing Richie could do that would ruin their friendship.

He doesn’t apologize. Apologizing would entail becoming friends with Eddie again. And becoming friends with Eddie again would probably entail hearing Eddie having to talk about Jessie. Talk about how sweet she is, how beautiful she is, how Eddie is planning on buying her a bouquet of sunflowers for prom. 

Richie forces himself to think about that every time he finds himself missing Eddie’s company. Thinks about Eddie showing up to Jessie’s house in his prom suit. Beautiful Eddie with his hair slicked back, with traces of cologne he tapped on his neck, And with a bouquet of Richie’s favorite flowers. He thinks about Eddie standing on his tippy toes… to kiss Jessie. Thinks about him giving her those flowers. About her face breaking out in a smile when she sees them. Of her kissing him again and again and again and a-

Having to see this will hurt way more then whatever you are feeling right now, Richie.

So he doesn’t apologize. 

——

It’s three days before prom that Richie hears a tap on his window. It’s 11 pm and Richie is already in his pajamas finishing the last of his English homework.

At first he thinks he’s imagining it, he goes back to his work. But then he hears it again, this time way more aggressive.

With raised brows he goes over and opens the blinds. Eddie’s there.

Richie wants to close the blinds as quick as possible, to run and hide in the bathroom until Eddie goes away. He wants so badly to do that.

But he doesn't. He instead opens the window for Eddie to climb in.

Eddie hops down into his room, dusting the dirt off his clothes from the tree he had to climb to get up here.

“Hey.” Eddie says. Richie’s heart pounds.

“Hey.” Richie replies, like he couldn’t care less.

They both stare at each other, for a solid 10 seconds. Both waiting for the other to start talking. Eddie breaks this silence.

“It’s been a fucking month, you need to apologize to me.” Eddie states.

“I’m not apologizing.” Eddie is angry now.

“Why the fuck not?” He asks.

“What I said was a joke, you should learn to take one.” Richie simply says, going back to his desk to finish his homework like Eddie isn’t even there.

Eddie is silent, he watches Richie is disbelief.

“I don’t understand why you’re being so mean.” Eddie says in the softest most hurt tone Richie could ever imagine. Richie wants nothing more to scoop Eddie up in his arms, to kiss each and every inch of the smaller boys face. To hold and cradle him until the pain that Richie caused him goes away. 

But he doesn’t , he doesn’t allow himself to do that. Instead he says nothing, pretending to do his homework.

Eddie sits on the bed. “I’m not going until you tell me why you’re doing this.” He states.

“I already told you, I have nothing to apologize for.” Richie replies.

“You obviously do and you know it. When you said those things you weren’t being funny, you were purposefully trying to hurt me. And it did hurt me. And it’s hurting me even more that you won’t apologize for it.” 

“Well maybe you should leave then, if I’m hurting you so bad.” That comment is like a spear to Eddie’s heart, but he doesn’t back down.

“Whenever I would tell you that one of your jokes hurt my feelings, you’d always apologize for it immediately and then go get me ice cream, Richie. I want my apology and I want my ice cream and I want to go back to the way things were.” Eddie rushes out in a shaky voice, tears are now threatening him to spill out.

Richie says nothing. Things can’t go back to the way they were. When Richie would live everyday aching to be closer and closer and closer to Eddie. 

They also couldn’t go back to the way Eddie makes him so overwhelmingly happy. To the hours of nonsensical conversation. To belly ache laughters. To that comforting feeling of Eddie just being in the same room as him.

Richie couldn’t go back to being happy if he doesn’t apologize. But he’d have to go back to the hurt of wanting.

Richie is now faced with two paths that ultimately lead to pain either way. He now has to decide what pain is worse. He really can’t.

“Say something!” Eddie whisper screams. 

“Eddie I-“ He stops himself. Is this the right choice?

“Say something or I’m leaving and you’ll never see me again. Ever.” Eddie persists.

What do I pick? What can I pick? What’s easier? What hurts less?

“Say something, say something, say something.” Eddie grows more and more desperate.

Richie begins to sob.

Violent sobbing. Richie doesn’t think he’s ever cried so hard before in his life. Face in his palms, hunched over his desk. He tries to stop, but he can’t. Tears coming so fast before he can even think about it. 

Eddie stands in shock, watching as his best friend cries. 

“Richie-“ Eddie reaches out for him, Richie gets out of his chair to move away.

“Just go!” Richie yells.

“Rich, please.” Eddie pulls the boy into his arms. Richie tries his hardest to push him away. Eddie tries just as hard to keep him in his arms. 

Richie finally crumbles. Everything in him that has told him to run and hide, to fight it, to suppress it. Finally crumbles. He can’t even find himself to think “it’s gay that you’re crying. And it’s even more gay that you’re allowing Eddie to hold you like this.” 

Richie grabs on to Eddie, having to bend down to shove his face into Eddie shirt.

Eddie pulls them onto the bed, cradling Richie’s shaking form. 

In between sobs Richie finally vocalizes what he’s been keeping inside him all these years.

“I love you so much, Eddie. I’m so in love with you. It hurt so much. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.” 

Eddie gasps at this, holding him tighter.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you.” Richie hiccups.

Eddie takes Richie’s wet, red, sobbing face into his hands. He smashes their lips together. It’s so desperate, years of wanting and waiting coming down to this one kiss. Eddie kisses him so hard it hurts. But its like a weight has been lifted off Richie’s chest. It’s finally getting the thing he’s craved for years and years. Richie kisses him back with just as much force.

Eddie pulls apart. Bringing their foreheads together. Both of them breathing heavy. 

“Richie i love you more than anything in this world. I love you so fucking much.”


	2. A Subtle Kiss That No One Sees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pure fluff! Richie and Eddie at prom. This one is kinda short tho 
> 
> Btw chapter title is lyrics from Read My Mind by The Killers which is a mega reddie song

As Eddie and Jessie walk down the steps of her house to the car, Eddie anxiously lets her know:

“Hey, so I should have probably told you this before, and not on prom night but… I’m kind of seeing someone.” 

Jessie blinks at him.

“This is a recent occurrence! I wasn’t dating someone when you asked me or anything! Like, this happened three days ago.” 

Jessie lets out an annoyed sigh.

“Is it Richie?” She asks, getting into the driver's seat. She smooths out the wrinkles in her velvet red dress as she sits down.

Eddie lets out something in between a laugh and a mock offended gasp. 

“I-whu-whaa-?”

“Three days ago you started hanging out with Richie again. And now you’re telling me you’re dating someone now? Either you’re dating Richie or you had a very busy Wednesday.”

“I- yeah. Yeah I am… dating Richie.” Eddie fiddles with his tux sleeves.

Jessie lets out another annoyed sigh as she starts up the car. “You’re real lucky I’m such a romantic, Eddie. Or else I would be really pissed.” She states. “Can we still take pictures together at prom? My parents are expecting photos.”

“Um-i-uh- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Of course!... you really aren’t mad?” Eddie asks wearily.

“Nah. To be honest, I kind of just asked you so my parents would see that I was going with a nice boy and wouldn’t be suspicious of what Iwas doing after. That is going to an even cooler party with my friends.” Jessie explained. Eddie was both flattered and offended. Flattered that he was seen as a nice boy, offended that he was seen as too nice of a boy to go to a cool party. 

“That’s fine. And true.” Eddie laughs.

“I could get you in if you want- to the party. You and your friends. It’s supposed to be pretty sweet.” Jessie states.

Eddie thinks for a moment. 

“No. I think I’m fine. I kind of think I want to be alone with Richie tonight.” Eddie tells her.

“Okay good, you would have embarrassed me anyways.” Jessie tells him. Eddie lets out a loud laugh at this.

——

After photos, Eddie and Jessie go their separate ways. Jessie wishes him luck with Richie, Eddie wishes her luck with her party. This worked out way better than he expected.

Eddie finds his friends sat around a table, drinking punch and eating snacks. 

Richie's eyes light up as he sees Eddie. Eddies stomach does backflips and his heart races.

“What are you bozos doing just sitting around?”

“Eddie! I thought you had a date?” Ben asks him.

Now probably wasn’t the right time to tell the gang how he was gay and now dating his life long best friend.

“We had some differences we just couldn’t work out.” Eddie explained. Richie smirked at this.

“Sorry to hear that, Eddie.” Stan said. “There’s someone out there that’s perfect for you.”

“Yeah. There is.” Eddie smiled.

——

The night passed with laughter and dancing. It was great, especially since they were able to sneak Mike into the event. The losers club rotated from dancing to terrible pop songs, to sitting around a table eating and gossiping, to stepping outside with Richie and Bev so they could smoke a cigarette. 

Around 2 hours in, as they all danced to “The Boys Of Summer” by Don Henley, Richie bent down and whispered in Eddie’s ear, “Do you maybe want to get out of here?” 

A huge smile broke across Eddies face as he nodded. Richie smiled back, before looking around and then planting a quick peck on the skin next to Eddie’s ear, making the shorter boy giggle. 

Richie turned to the rest of the losers, he shouted over the loudspeakers, “Hey! Me and Eddie are gonna go out for a cigarette. We might not be back.” 

“You’re going this soon? I thought we were going back to the club house after this?” Stan asks with furrowed brows.

“I’ll be back after. I’m gonna take Eddie home soon, Mrs. K wants him back at 10:30.” Richie shrugs. 

“It’s only 9?” Stan asked suspiciously.

“I take long smoke breaks. Cmon Eds.” Richie grabbed his wrist. 

“See you guys tomorrow!” Eddie says as Richie pulls him away.

“See you losers later!” Richie calls. Their friends wave their goodbyes as the two boys make their way out of the school gymnasium. 

Eddie giggles as Richie moves his hand from Eddie’s wrist to interlocking their fingers. Bringing it up to his face, Richie plants a long kiss on the back of Eddie’s hand as they walk through the abandoned, dark school hallway.

Eddies giddy with excitement. This is the first time Richies held his hand outside the privacy of one of the boy’s rooms. And while, it probably didn’t count because they were the only ones there, Eddie felt as if it was another step in their new formed relationship.

“You look pretty tonight, my love.” Richie tells him. Eddie blushes.

“Shut the fuck up. You’re the pretty one.” Eddie says lovingly. It was true. Richie cleaned up quite nice. Having shaved his stubble, put on some of his father cologne, and dressed in a dark brown suit; he looked beautiful when the night began. And now with his hair tousled, sweat dripping down his face, tie undone hanging around his neck; he looked even more gorgeous than before. 

“I beg to differ, dearest. Your red tie brings out the yellow in your eyes and your hair looks-“ Eddie pulls Richie down by his collar to kiss him, successfully shutting the boy up. Before Eddie realized his attraction to him, Richie being obnoxiously 5 inches taller than him was probably the bane of his existence. After his growth spurt in 7th grade, for a whole 2 months Eddie was only known as “short stack” to Richie.

But now, most of the admiring thoughts Eddie had for the boy consisted of “tall, tall, tall, big hands, tall, tall, pretty eyes, tall, tall, tall.” But, that was something he’d never admit to Richie.

Richie held Eddie’s face in those big hands, deepening the kiss. Eddie pushes him up against a locker, gripping Richie’s collar tighter. Richie smiles into the kiss, causing Eddie to smile as well. 

They soon become unable to kiss, smiling so big. That was a constant problem whenever they'd be making out. Not able to contain their happiness and excitement of their new relationship. The boys would end up with foreheads pressed against each other, not being able to contain their giggling. Eddie never knew he could be this happy.

Eddie peppers kisses all over Richie’s face as “Whisper to a Scream” by The Icicle Works soon fades out and “Without You” by Mariah Carey fades in. Richie smiles softly, staring down at Eddie.

“I wanna slow dance with you, very badly.” Richie tells him.

“Let's slow dance then.” 

“Not in the hallway, we’ll probably get caught.” Richie says, laughing anxiously.

“You just had your tongue in my mouth 5 seconds ago in this exact hallway.” Eddie deadpans. Richie blushes at that. Who knew the crude boy was so shy.

“Here, come with me.” Eddie grabs Richie’s hand, pulling him down the hallway.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Mrs. Evans always leaves her classroom unlocked, didn’t you know?” 

Richie sputters. “O-of course I know!” He did not, in fact know.

Eddie rolls his eyes and pulls Richie into the room. He guides the boys hands to his shoulders, and put his on Richie’s waist. Smiling up at him he asks:

“Do you know how to dance?”

“Of course I know!” He did not, in fact know.

“Just sway back and forth, and try not to step on my feet.” Eddie explains.

“I told you I already know!” 

They sway to the muffled sound of Mariah Carey’s voice. This would be one of the few moments of the boys relationship that Richie was completely silent, and they would go on to be together for 60+ years so that was saying a lot.

If Eddie didn’t already know how much he loved Richie, he definitely knew now. Eddie pressed his face into his shoulder, breathing in deeply. He smiled for probably the 100th time tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> If y’all peeped that subtle 80s song reference 😏😏😏.... lmk. 
> 
> Follow my tumblr if you want i have only one post but i do plan on posting more: d34thrattle  
And my twitter: richietoeziers 
> 
> Okay bye kisses


End file.
